June.
Stay out super late tonight
Picking apples, making pie
It starts off lazy, laying next to each other, as she gazes at stars and he lets his mind wander. It's not a beginning, and they don't think of it as one. It's always been Ted-Lily-Marshall, but for this summer it's just Ted-and-Lily, and that's okay. It feels natural, calm, and.. nice. So it's okay.
She speaks, sometimes. Tells him about the constellations, and the morning star, and that she wonders how the hell the Wise Men followed a star to Bethlehem. He laughs when she jokes she'd get lost and he whispers that they were probably under the influence of something. She hits him in the arm and says he's ruining the Bible, he'll lightly tap her back, she'll tell him he's a wimp and he hits like a guy. He protests, says she's a girl, and he can't actually hit her, it's not right. She smiles and coughs, wimp. (She secretly thinks he's a gentlemen, but there's no way she will ever tell him that).
They stay up and talk 'till it's too late and she should be back to her friend's house she's staying at, but all the sudden it's 4, and what's the point, it's practically morning anyway. So she stays, and they lay there, just talking about whatever, and at one point she thinks, this is fun. She's having fun, and she's doing it without Marshall. (She almost thinks, step one accomplished, but it's a little mean, because it's not like she doesn't miss him. She does. She blocks the disobedient thoughts out, and leaves it at that.)
The morning after he takes her to his favorite coffee shop, a little one with very nearly no business, and of course Ted would find it, but it's actually really good. She orders her favorite(black, with tons of sugar, he always tells her that she can't call it coffee if it's technically all sugar) and he orders whatever the special is, because he likes being, his words, spontaneous. She rolls her eyes when she thinks he's not looking, and he sticks his tongue out at her when he knows she is looking.
“Immature.”
“Oh, I'm immature? Miss, my drink to start off the day is basically a cup of rotting teeth waiting to happen?”
“Okay, I changed my mind. You can't be immature, because right then you basically,” she mocks him, making a funny face, “sounded exactly like my mother right then.”
“Hey!”
And that's how their morning routine starts.
One night she gets bored of looking at the sky and talking, so she tells him to get up and, 'get your ass in gear, Moseby!'.
She tells him to drive her to her house, and he thinks she's gotten bored of him already(and he's a little hurt, that's true, but the last thing he's going to do is tell that to Lily), but he obediently takes her anyway. When he drops her off, she whispers for him to stay where he is, and sprints into the house.
He drums his fingers on the steering wheel and thinks of all possible pranks she could be planning to pull on him right now. (He knows Lily, and nothing she does is ever without some ulterior motive.)
He hears a scream, and Lily is running out of her house, tripping in a comically hilarious way, while her friend yells back at her, “Lily Aldrin! You suck!”
He's about to say she should go back and apologize, but she's cracking up the whole way, and pounds on the side of his car she's standing on.
“Open up!”
When he obliges, she jumps in and shrieks, “What are you waiting for? Go, go, go!” And he does, merely because not obeying Lily in the past has never turned out that great for him.
About fifteen minutes into their out of the blue road trip, he has to ask her, “What the hell was that?”
She genuinely looks surprised, and questions, “Are you mad at me? It was just a joke. I surprised her when she was in the middle of...um. Well, something with her boyfriend. That's why she was pissed, but she'll be fine in the morning.” She has this look, a sad slash amused look and he feels this tenderness that he's never felt before, and it's weird, it's Lily, so he shakes it off and assures her he's not mad.
“Oh. Well, I had this idea. See, there's an apple orchid really close to this place, in fact, just turn right here, yep, that's right.”
He just turns to her and wonders what is wrong with her, but he does find it funny so he turns, and asks,
“An apple orchid? What?”
She gets this big grin and it lights her face up(he wonders for a second why he never realized how pretty she is, but it's only a second and then it's gone).
“An apple orchid! We go there, after hours, and we...wait for it...(years later, that'll be the thing that starts his friendship with Barney, because he'll remember the phrase she used so often in college, when everything was simpler, and more fun, and just better) we are going to...are you ready for this?”
“Yeah!”
“Steal apples! We are going to take apples! Won't it just be the most fun thing ever?”
He's shocked, and he almost runs into a tree until he jolts out of his stupor.
“Steal. Apples?”
She looks so enthusiastic, he feels bad he's going to have to tell her that there's just no way in hell he's doing a lame thing like that.
“Are you high?” And her face falls, crumples, and already he regrets it, and it might be weird that she has this much hold over him, but whatever, she's one of his best friends. It's normal.
(He's sure it's normal, it has to be normal, because if it's not normal then what does that mean?)
“No! I just thought it would be a cool thing to do. Something dangerous, you know?” It's not dangerous at all, he thinks, but in some twisted Lily-logic she must find it rebellious.
“What are we going to do with these apples?”
He's got her there, she didn't really think about it much. So she just says the first thing that pops into her mind, something her and her mother used to do when she was young, before her mom went all feminist crazy and said cooking was for submissive, boring girls who would, in the long run, get divorced by their lawyer/doctor/some other rich occupation husbands and have to live on the streets as prostitutes because they would have no skills.
“We are going to bake pies. You like pies, I like pies... it works for everyone.”
And just because he can't possibly think of anything to say to that, she takes his silence as a yes, and they end up going to an apple orchid, to steal apples, to make pies.
When they finally arrive at the apple orchid(it wasn't close, not at all), Lily takes out two black sweatshirts out of her bulgy backpack(how did he not notice she was carrying that?).
“What are those for?” And he's a little scared of her answer, to tell you the truth.
“Us, silly! We don't want to be noticed.”
Oh, god.
“Lily. We are breaking into a apple orchid. It's not like there's going to be high-tech cameras or something.”
She stares back at him with a look mixed of disdain and amusement(all her looks regarding him seem to have a note of amusement).
“What if one of us makes a noise, and the owners come out? What if you, being a big clumsy oaf”-and he thinks, yeah, he's the clumsy one here-“falls or something, and they hear you? We need these.”
“Whatever, let's just get this crazy scheme of yours over with,” He says grudgingly, “so I can leave before I get arrested, thanks to you, again.”
“Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was not my fault, that was yours. If you had just listened to me...”
She goes off on a tangent, but she's stifling a laugh the whole time, and in the end, just gives up and falls to the ground laughing.
“Let's go. Lily, let's go.”
And she's crying, and laughing, and it's so stupid, her cracking up in an apple orchid, in the middle of the night, while she clutches two bulky black sweatshirts, but it's so funny, and he can't help but sit next to her and break down.
They eventually do get into the apple orchid. He's all for leaving, but she lectures him, saying how she didn't do all this work for nothing, and she convinces him(more like forces him, but with Lily, the two really are the same thing).
She whispers how she feels so hard core and he teases her that maybe now she'll start snorting or something. She scoffs, but seems to actually consider it for a second, until he quickly distracts her with the fact that the gate is locked.
“We'll climb it. Duh!” And he has to go up first, because according to her, he has to help her get up. He smirks, and yells down he's sorry but he can't hear her, and she'll just have to climb by herself. She screams(albeit, quietly, as they're technically breaking in) and yells but she does climb it.
There's a moment though, when she nears the top, she slips and almost falls, and there's a second where he thinks she's hurt and his heart stops and he can't breathe and all he can think is, Lily.
But then she recovers and keeps climbing and it's all okay, and he forgets all about those breath-taking seconds, because she's good and therefore, so is he.
The minute they get in, she just randomly grabs apples from trees and throws them into her backpack. She hisses at him to hurry up, and he complies, picking apples and soon they have too much to carry and Lily smiles, and he does too.
“Let's go.”
He definitely agrees with that, and they're leaving, every thing's cool, until he does the stupidest thing in the world and runs into apple picker machine thing(it was dark, he couldn't see) and it crashes over, and lands on a few trees. Which crash down with it, which all in all, creates a huge boom that he's almost positive the whole freaking country hears. Lily makes it worse by screaming, and they run at the gate, throwing the backpack over, climbing as fast as they can, and he swears he hears in the distance, someone yelling, “Damn kids!”
He creaks open the door to his apartment(yeah, he bought one, and he thinks it makes him seem more adult, plus, what reason does he have to go home for?) and Lily and him rush in and crash on his tiny gray pullout couch. She can't stop giggling and he keeps telling her to shut up, she didn't help by screaming like a little girl, to which she just shakes her head, leans against him, and proceeds to chortle until she's weeping.
After a while, he remembers why they originally stole the stupid apples, and asks if she wants to make pies. He has some leftover crust dough from his last girlfriend(she was in cooking school, and a freaking food fanatic), and they can probably handle making pies.
Needless to say, they end up covered in dough, mangled apples, and flour. She just smiles, and collapses on the ground, gesturing for him to join her. He does, and she stares at him for a good five minutes, until she reaches out and says, “You've got flour all over your mouth, Ted.” He rolls his eyes and asks where, but she tells him not to worry, she's got it, and she leans over and very slowly brushes it off. Very slowly, and he can't help if he's kind of turned on, it's not his fault, it's late, and crazy, and he's a guy. He is not having...feelings for Lily.
He pulls away, insists they go to sleep, she can have his bed, he'll take the crappy couch. But she just shakes her head and says, “You've got a master, right Ted? That fits two, doesn't it?”
He doesn't have feelings for her.
Put a little something in our lemonade
and take it with us
They're about halfway through the month when Lily suggests they go on a picnic(suggests isn't really the word he would use, but it's Lily, so he just shrugs and lets it go). She's all excited because it's been one of her dreams since she was little, to go on a good old fashioned picnic, and she packs the sandwiches, the watermelon, the lemonade, and at his insistence, the vodka he had hidden in his drawer. She looked incredulously at him, because who the hell did he have to hide that from, and he just smiles and winks, and they continue to decide what to bring.
She feels kind of shy, because she can't shake the feeling this isn't completely innocent and alcohol is never a good factor, though she forgets about her foreboding feelings and loads everything into her beaten pickup truck(it was a gift, a sucky gift, but she needed a car). He teases her and calls her weak when she needs help lifting the basket, and she calls him a bastard who won't help an innocent young girl.
He stops himself from staring at her when she's not looking, because the light is hitting her just right and he thinks she looks kind of like angel(what is he doing? This is Lily, Marshall's Lily, his friend Lily, platonic friendship Lily, not his Lily, and that's the end of it, she's not his).
She watches him and thinks about muscles and smiles and smirking and teasing and this is easier then it was with Marshall(was? It still is with Marshall, he's still her boyfriend and Ted isn't, Ted is her best friend, her buddy, the guy she goes to with problems about her and Marshall, not the guy she thinks about all the time, of course she doesn't, it's just hot out and she's hungry and that's all, that's all).
They finish packing the food away, and she walks around, but he gets there before her and opens the door for her(and she thinks, gentlemen, and when was the last time Marshall did that for her?).
Her shoulder brushes his arm, and he shivers(what a girly thing for him to do, god, he's being stupid, it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't). Before he can put his foot on the gas though, she yells(practically giving him a heart attack in the process, thanks for that Lily) leans over him, her hair brushes his cheek(and he can pretty much see down her shirt, (but he shouldn't notice that, and he doesn't) snatches the vodka and two cups, and settles back in her chair.
“What? This wouldn't be a good picnic without alcohol, now would it?”
“Lily, I think that's against the law. I can't drink and drive.” She just looks at him pityingly, and says(in a tone of voice that, in the future, will be known as her “teacher voice”)
“Who said one of these was for you?”
He laughs and she laughs, but she's not joking, and she downs both glasses in the span of about 2 seconds each.
That can't be good, he thinks.
And all of the sudden she giggling like crazy and trying to steal the wheel from him.
Definitely not good.
They arrive(safely, and not arrested, thank god) at their destination, a piece of land right by the lake.
It is really beautiful, and he's sitting down, preparing their food(he really should get some substance into Lily, before she tips over into the lake because of too much alcohol) when Lily interrupts him by chucking a cup at his head.
“What the hell, Lily?” She just smiles and cover her mouth with her hand, then whispers, “Oops.”
“Yeah, I'm sure that was an accident. Why don't you come over here and sit down, okay? Eat something?”
She just shrugs and tells him she's good, but why doesn't he come over here and drink a little with her?
And she looks so cute, sitting with her legs crossed and pouting, he can't help it, he goes over there and okay, he'll drink a little, but not a lot, all right?
“One of us has to stay kind of sober,” he insists.
She smirks at him, and lays on the sand, her fingers tapping along to some imaginary melody, and he thinks, he would be lucky to get a girl half as amazing as Lily Aldrin.
Turn out the lights, say goodnight
No thinking for a little while
The last week of June, Ted finally comes up with a completely crazy plan for them to carry out. He's pacing around his room, trying to figure out how to one-up Lily, because her last idea had been to steal an animal from the zoo(long story short: he will never go back to that place), and he kept coming up blank.
But then he sees the empty vodka bottle from a few weeks ago, and he has a major brainstorm.
They're going to rob a liquor store.
He presents the idea to her, and he's nervous(that's weird, and he wonders what's with his constant urge to impress her) that she might hate it or laugh or just leave.
But she doesn't, she smiles and says it's the best idea she's ever heard and of course she'll go along with it, when has she ever turned down free liquor.
He laughs and they go on their separate ways, but she makes him promise her to meet her outside her house, he agrees and makes her promise not to ditch him.
She just shakes her head and says, “Ted. I probably would if it wasn't for the free drinks.” But she's joking and he knows it, so they leave on good terms(they always do).
(Neither of them realized this was illegal, and when Ted thinks back on it, he wonders how they could be so stupid and reckless, about everything.)
“Lily....Lily!”
She turns around to find Ted at her window, looking especially creepy by scratching the glass and seeming just like a psychopath out of an old horror story.
“Ted! What the hell?”
He smiles sheepishly and pleads with her to let him in, or come outside so they can get ready.
She eventually comes out to meet him(mostly because he started doing scary killer impressions) and they hop into his car.
“So. Are we seriously gonna do this?” She can barely contain her excitement, to be doing something so bad-ass, so daring. She knows it's illegal and she could probably be kicked out of college(and kicked into jail) but she can't find it in herself to care. It's just so not her to do this, and she loves it.
(She never tells anyone this, but she had almost wished she'd gotten caught).
They arrive at the closet crappy liquor store they can find, share a furtive look, nod, and start running toward it. Ted wore the appropriately geeky black ski cap, along with an all black wardrobe. She wears a black tee, black short-shorts, and no shoes.
Yep, they look like criminals.
“One... Two.... Three!”
Charge.
They're running around the store(it wasn't that hard to break in, he just broke the window with a rock) and she trips over a case of beer, and Ted trips right over her.
“Smooth, genius!”
“What? You fell down first!”
“Oh, yeah, blame the girl!”
It doesn't matter that they're arguing though, because they're so close together(and her hand's wrapped around his, and their legs are tangled up, and god she's barely wearing anything, and he's wearing a short sleeved shirt and his muscles), they're looking into each other's eyes, and that's the breaking point, he moves closer and so does she.
And all of the sudden, there's no space between them.
Let's not try to figure everything out at once
They move apart at the same time. She's breathing hard and her face is flushed but her eye's are sparkling and her lips curve into a smile. He can barely believe what he's doing, what he just did, and he can't do anything but say, “Let's go.”
Just like that, their mission is forgotten.
(None of this feels like a surprise, it feels like it's been a long time coming, and there will be no thoughts about guilt, boyfriends, best friends, broken hearts, love, not tonight.)
They can't keep their hands off each other long enough, they're already making out when they reach his apartment door. He grasps for the key, shoves it in the lock, they burst in, and she kicks the door closed behind her. She stares at him, pushes him backwards into his old, worn-out, beat-up(comfy) chair and climbs on top of him. They're both half-awake, in a daze, but it doesn't matter, nothing matters, not now, what could possibly be more important than this?
And he's pushing up her shirt, and she thinks it's because Marshall's not here, and he tells himself it's because he's a guy and she's beautiful.
They both think of reasons until the morning, and none of them are true.
We're half awake in a fake empire
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