(no subject)
[info]xoxochic27

all the colors of the world; and you and I and you and I


Sometimes, Lily's not sure if her life has turned out the way she wants it.

Hi Lils,” Ted says while walking into their apartment. “Whatcha doing?” She smiles hurriedly at him, and begins stroking the brush against the canvas(purples, blues, greens- stop, wait, pause. Does it matter?). “Painting.” She replies, looking over her shoulder. Her eyes flick over him and then-

Ted.” He looks up from sorting the mail. “Yeah?” She bites her lip(rosy cheeks, red beauty, dark pink blooms subtly under white). “Do you think...” Her voice trails off into nothing.(do you think my paintings matter, do you like them, do you think they are-what? She doesn't know, not sure she wants to know. Once, Marshall tells her, yeah, but those are for real paintings.)

Never mind.” Lily whispers. She watches him from the corner of her eyes(Ted is all dark browns and blacks and greens, she is bright red; bursting flaming exploding- he is calm where she isn't, cool and collected when she can't be. And yet. Yet.) Ted strides across the floor to go call his latest girlfriend(what was her name again?).

Nice painting.” He says before he shuts the door with a click and a slam.

When Lily thinks of Marshall, she thinks of light colors, bland like the color of the barrel Marshall had in college or the color of damp sand- but her and Ted clash. Her and Marshall don't.

(-and yet. Yet.)


baby, it's cold outside
robin/marshall friendship or more, if you want, or squint(very hard)

It's after that stupid car ride when her and Marshall argued about couple stuff and robot sounds and how after four years, everyone still thinks she's as cold as she pretends, when he comes up to her.

Hey.” He says in a low voice, it rumbles in a manly way(all New York men have girly voices, maybe it's all the shoe stores around them, or maybe it's all the manicures they get but it's not a turn-on).

Hi.” She answers. She clutches her snow cone tightly, so some of the blue raspberry flavored ice drips down on her hand. He sets his slurpee down next to her and sits down on the steps.

Are you okay?” He asks, his voice worried and maybe a little apologetic(good, she thinks, he deserves it, even though she doesn't really mean it and maybe- maybe, she feels kind of bad, too).

She rolls her eyes and takes another lick of her snow cone. A chunk of it falls off on her hand. He offers her a napkin(Lily makes him carry them around, he explains, because she says you never know when you'll drop your keys on the nasty sidewalks, or need to pick up some whiny kid's candy. She laughs. She's always thought Lily was a closet germaphobe).

Thanks.” She whispers and for a while they just sit in silence as Robin cleans up the snow cone, and Marshall slurps away at his icy drink.

But Marshall's voice breaks the comfortable quiet. “I really am sorry.” He says. “You're not actually that much of an ice queen. We know that.”

Robin smiles and she's all ready to forgive him(she wasn't really that mad anyway- even though she totally wasn't hitting on him. Well, not intentionally, anyway) but first- she throws the sopping napkin straight at his face. “Oops.” She smirks. Marshall's mouth falls open and he slowly pulls another napkin out of his pocket.

Oh,” He says dangerously, “You asked for it.”

And they spend the next hour playing napkin tag(though Marshall wants to call it Icy Snowy Napkin Fun Time).



not as legen-wait for it-dary as you wish

barney/robin

The day after their break-up, Robin spends all day inside her room, sleeping. She misses work, though it's totally by accident, she tells Ted, it's not like she was that devastated by the whole(even though she still doesn't want to say it, but whatever, that's normal) thing.

Ted doesn't believe her obviously, he puts his caring dad face on and tries to help her talk her way through it, but Robin isn't taking any of that crap. “Whatever,” She says when he asks if she wants to do some calming breathing exercises. “I'm going to the gym.” Even though it's not like she really wants to work out, but she can't go to Lily and Marshall's(Lily is probably still depressed about it, she had really wanted them to work, and Marshall might start crying) and the bar is out of the question for various reasons(just one, but she doesn't want to think it).

*

So it's a week after their break-up, and Robin's been going to the gym every day after work, then hitting the wildest parties she can find and coming home so late that Ted's never awake. Basically, she hasn't seen anyone besides coworkers and random one night stands for a while and she is totally okay with that.

And yeah, maybe she misses Marshall and Lily and Ted and (him) sometimes, or most of the the time, but her whole life doesn't revolve around them. She has other friends, other bars, other lives she leads with out them. For now, she's just Robin(no Scherbatsky) the Adventurer, Robin the Explorer(though Dora does have a better ring to it, she admits). She doesn't need them.

(and if maybe, sometimes, she misses himthem, it doesn't mean anything. She's doing fine on her own.)

*

A whole month after their break-up, and the only person she's talked to is Ted(and she lives with him, so it doesn't count. He was bound to catch her sometime) and Lily, only because Ted told her Lily was threatening to jump in front of the subway wearing a wedding dress if she didn't call her.

But she's still doing perfectly well by herself, and having fun while she's at it. Sometimes she thinks she could probably go own living like this forever; good sex, good parties, a good job. Sometimes, late at night, right before she crashes, she thinks that she's lonely. The only other person she knows who could keep up with her(not the marrieds, not the guy who was continuously looking for his soul mate, not all the other random guys she dated) she can't be around anymore.

But during the day, her life is lovely and wonderful and fun and she has totally lost weight since she's been exercising so much.

Until, of course, stupid Ted, with his stupid plans and stupid romantic notions, comes in and screws everything up. Along with stupid Marshall and stupid Lily.

Short story: they drag her to the bar. McLaren's, to be more specific. When she walks in and rips the blind fold off(yes, they had blindfolded her, probably Marshall's idea, or Lily's, the girl has always been pretty kinky) and sees where she is, she immediately tries to back track. “No,” She says, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Guys, I don't want to be here, you can't make me. I'm a grown, adult woman, I can easily escape.” They turn to eachother and Lily nods. Marshall and Ted both slide behind her and grab her arms. “Yes,” Lily says in her diabolical voice, “But you won't.”

And since Robin really doesn't want to have to deal with all the crying that Ted and Marshall would do if she pulled her gun on them, she sighs and let's them pull her over to their booth. It's not like she doesn't know what they have planned, anyway.

She sits down and looks up, and there's no surprise when Barney's face is staring at her from across the table.

Hey.”

Barney looks like she does, resigned and tired, and maybe a little sad. He swirls his scotch around a little too wildly to be calm, and he smiles at her(but she knows Barney, she does, and she knows his fake smiles and real smiles. His real smiles come out when he's won a bet, or when Ted says you're my best friend, Barney, or when she kisses him and they break apart. This isn't a real one).

Hey, Robin,” he says, his voice strangely falsetto, “What up? Long time no see! How are you? Still doing that morning show talk host thing?” She rolls her eyes at him and he falters and all of the sudden Robin wants to tell him everything, how she misses him and how she is so lonely, she wants to ask him how he does it all the time, and she wants to tell him she lovesmisses him(because she does, and she doesn't know if she can stop just because they've broken up).

I'm...” And she wants to lie, because even though she lovesmisses him, she doesn't want to have them crash and burn again or not talk like they haven't for the last month. But she doesn't. She takes a deep breath and drums her fingers against the table.

I'm not good, Barney.” He stares at her, and he looks surprised, but kind of relieved. “Yeah,” he says to his almost empty glass of scotch. “I'm not as legendary as I usually am, either.”

She has to laugh at that, and he smiles at her and this time it's real(and maybe she's missed those smiles, the way his eyes crinkle and he raises an eyebrow, but that's a little too sappy for her, so never mind).

What,” She scoffs, “The bimbos not as dumb as usual?” It could be mean, she could say it as if it's a jab, but she's joking, so he smirks and replies, “If anything, dumber.

Robin smiles and he orders another two scotches.

(and maybe she does miss him, but for now, drinking a good scotch and laughing with him is good enough for her.)


(sixteen)
[info]xoxochic27

 

Sixteen times Robin Scherbatsky said no, and the one time she said yes.


 


 

(sixteen...)

The first time is when you ask him to play some Battleship. It was a simple question! And all the sudden, this guy(who, by the way, you don't know that well, he's just a friend of a sort-of friend who you may or may not have feelings for) is in your apartment, stripping down?

What kind of psycho is he?

So, of course you say no. Duh. You don't know him very well, and while you may be a little bit promiscuous, you are definitely not a slut, and you are most certainly not one of his bimbos.


 

Okay, the second time might have been your fault. Might. But he was definitely the one who propositioned it. And it's not as if you agreed or anything. You might have considered it for maybe, a second, but you would never act on it.

You like Ted, remember?


 

Whoa, whoa, slow your roll. This time he was completely joking around. So he asked if you would come back to his place, where, quote, the party never ends until the sex visa runs out, unquote. He was kidding. After all, Barney completely understands that you like Ted. And that you would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, be interested.

Obviously, he was kidding!


 

Now, you can't possibly be taking this one seriously. You're dating Ted. You might, sort of, maybe, there's a chance, love him. Barney would never jeopardize that, no matter how much he wants Ted to be single with him. And god, you have heard so many speeches about how better Ted would be without you, you're going to start believing it soon.

Oh. Just kidding! That was a complete joke.

Erm. Anyway, you said no. End of story.


 

Except, of course it isn't. With him, is there ever an end to a story? Wait, there might be, but first he would have to say, “Come on, guys... please? It's just, the last part is really good... and funny...  Awesome! Okay, this is gonna be legen... wait for it-”  And you don't want to even be around for that anymore. His catchy phrases, and cool high fives are starting to get on your nerves. Plus, why couldn't Ted be more like that? See, Barney understands. He gets that you don't like the mushy gushy, and the blah, blah, blah, I love you, marry me, pop two fat sacks of money draining waste(okay, note to self: never mention this to Lily) out of your va-jay-jay, crap.
See? This is why you broke up with Ted(yeah, it was mutual, but that's so not what you're really gonna tell everyone). He would probably cry(in fact, on one occasion, he might have) if you mentioned that babies aren't actually the solution to every single freaking problem!


 

Wow. You must be stupider then Marshall and Lily were about that cockamouse if you believe Barney really meant it this time. You're not even sure he was talking about sex with this. It was kind of confusing, with all the rambling, and he said something about Vacation Robin.

Oh, god. Was he requesting for a threesome with you, him, and Vacation Robin?

Dammit. Never should have told him about that dream.

Plus... how would that even be possible?


 


 

Blah, blah, blah. He. Was. Kidding.

Probably.


 

Whatever, man. You know what? You wish you had said yes to Barney this time. Ted was being a freak, Marshall and Lily were being all coupeley, and Gail had just left.

You didn't. Duh.

But still...


 

Technically, this time, you agreed. But if you think about it, no, no you didn't. See, Barney was helping you get over the douchey ex of yours. He was being nice. Which, while that is a rarely seen thing, didn't mean anything in terms of... emotions. Honestly, people. Keep up. This is Barney we're talking about. And it's not like you want a commitment either. It was just a typical one night stand, except the guy you slept with is one of your(best) friends.

Whatever. You know, it probably happens to everybody.
 


 

Hey, this time was because you were helping him! He wanted to find out who was sabotaging his game(as he so eloquently put it). The whole group was pitching in, playing their parts. Anyway, he didn't mean it. Even if he did, you would never agree. Though it looked appealing for a little bit, and sure, maybe it turned you on a tad, but not for any romantic or interested (gag) feelings.

He's Barney, for god's sake! Of course he didn't mean it.


 

Look, this one, well... it was not for real. You're pretty sure. Barney's been acting really weird lately(he questioned you about your period! Come on, man!) and asking you out on a... dare you say, date(it's strange to associate that word with Barney)... he had to have been trying to have sex with you again. It wasn't serious or anything. And, by the way, you tried to send him off with that slutty-looking waitress.

It's not your fault it didn't work. You're almost positive he was on medication or something, anyway(maybe Ted finally got himto take those pills he had  kept trying to sneak in his scotch...)


 

Nothing even happened this time! You might have tried to do it with him, but it was awkward that night. Like, really awkward. You don't still have feelings for Ted, and you don't know why you said you weren't okay with him getting married(but you turned out to be right, didn't you? You always are...).At least Barney ended up having a threesome(lucky him, Ted grumbled, and you laughed). Now he's stopped  complaining about that stupid belt.


 

This time, it wasn't really Barney you said yes to. It was Ted. And yes, that was a stupid, stupid move on your part. But it was Barney's theory that convinced both of them. So, in some ways, it's totally his fault.

It just is, okay?


 

You didn't say yes. You guys kissed, and you maybe told him you loved him. And asked to get married. But, you didn't say yes! It's not like you two will become anything, anyway.

Sure, you... love(oh, it's so, so weird) him.

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't. Matter.


 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just having sex with him! It's sex. And Barney. You both enjoy it(he definitely enjoys it, and who can blame him? You're damn hot) and it's not hurting anyone.

Mostly because no one knows. First of all, Lily would make them have... the Talk(like, ewww) and second, she would expect them to get married and have kids, like right away.

Kids? Um, yeahhh...


 

Damn, Lily's annoying. You guys aren't dating! No way.

It's you and Barney. Barney! There's no way he'd even want to be your boyfriend.

Would he?


 

(and one time, she said...)


 

So, you're his girlfriend. And he's your boyfriend.

Shut up.

He is pretty hot, after all.


Five Stages, Anger
[info]xoxochic27

 

She feels it. It may happen in a split-second. A moment gone so fast that she's not sure it really happened.

Afterwards, she feels unsteady. Off balance. She cries in the middle of the night once, and wakes Barney. He asks her what's wrong, and she shrugs him off and pulls him into bed with her(the best way to distract Barney Stinson, guaranteed).

When she sees(in that split second, that moment which disappears, but she's pretty sure happened) how Ted turns to Lily, and his eyes light up, she is filled. Filled up to the top with unbearable anger. Anger at Ted. For fucking this up, this perfect dynamic of a group. It was perfect. Everything was, and yes, Robin of all people should know that perfect is not real. But damn, she wanted it to be.

There, sitting at their booth, in their bar, in their seats, she has never been so pissed off. She wants to punch Ted, wants to scream at him, she wants to beat him up and yell, you're supposed to leave it alone, you douche bag! You're supposed to fall in love with a random girl that we approve of, who loves you back, you jackass, you immature, annoying, stupid bastard!

Well, she doesn't. But she wants to, so bad.

Because Ted is supposed to be the smart one. He should be the one smiling affectionately at Lily and Marshall. The one telling them, boundaries, guys, he's the guy who has known the two forever, he yells at Lily for interfering with his relationships(I've known you for twelve years, and I can honestly say I've never been more furious at you!), he's their best friend.

It's Lily-Ted-Marshall, or it's Lily-Marshall, but it is never Ted-Lily.


 

It just isn't.


 

Dammit Ted, literally, it just isn't.


Mosbyed
[info]xoxochic27

Title: Mosbyed
Pairing: Barney/Robin, some Lily/Marshall, maybe Ted/Mother
Rating: PG-13, could become light R
Summary: Robin tries to explain their love st- her and Barney's situation, to the world.
And herself.
Probably him, too.
 

This is not a love story.

This is not a romance, nor a fairy tale, a happy ending, a hopeful folklore, a grand and magnificent thing, no, no, no. This is not a cliché, annoying, boring, rose petals on the silk white bed sheets, type of story. It's a confusing, stupid, random, pointless as hell story.

It doesn't end in babies with pink cheeks, or lame marriage vows with cute little flower girls and bitchy bridesmaids. Come on.

Sorry. It's just, I have to get the point across. I don't want you to stumble upon this some night and think, ooh, the perfect thing to read if I want some good old, gorgeously written(um, definitely not) perfect, prissy little book.

No. Okay? Just... no.

Anyway, I should start on my story now(suppose the better word would be rant, or maybe venting, but I'm the author here, I guess, so I'll tell and you'll listen because that's the way it is).

Again, you are in no means in store for a joyful ride, got it? I'm trying to make it as clear as possible that this story is not a love story.

(this is not a love story, it's not and it never will be, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story, this is not a love story and never ever ever will be one)


 

So, me and you are sitting on a couch, maybe it's light blue or maybe it isn't(you know, I've never seen a light blue couch, that's strange, isn't it- sorry, sorry, I get off track a lot, you'll see) and you'll ask me,

“So, is this a love story?” Now as I've said before(repeatedly) this is by no means a love story. Perhaps the opposite. Therefore, I say,

“No.” You smile a little pityingly at me...actually, don't do that, it's very annoying. Scratch that, you smile understandingly at me and question,

So, not a romance?” I, maybe taken a little off guard by you asking me something you asked me no more then a minute ago, just a different wording, or maybe just startled out of my thoughts respond with,

Well, maybe it is.” Now you are the one taken off guard, because I contradicted myself. That is a pretty common theme in this story. I will contradict myself a lot, and I will contradict the other people in this tale a lot. I'll do it repeatedly, it will get annoying, so I apologize beforehand for that, but I'm saying up front, I will do it. Interrupting my (really stupid) thoughts, you say,

What do you mean?” Which I can understand, because I wouldn't get myself either.

I mean, I think it might have been a romance. A love story, no. Never. But I guess there was... um, romance. Maybe.” You're sitting there, a little confused(or you might just be hungry, I don't know) and you can't think of anything to say(anything polite, anyway).

Look, it takes a lot of confusion before you get to the real point of this story. If there even is a point. There might not be. I mean, it always seemed kind of pointless to make us go through all that and get everyone else all befuddled- what a weird word, by the way-” You cut me off(who wouldn't?) with saying,

So. There isn't a point to this story, and you have no idea if it's a romance or a love story, or why you went through all “this stuff”.” I nod my head encouragingly, and you eventually say,

Why am I here, then?” I furrow my brow(a little menacingly at you, but not to appear too tough) and answer with,

Because it gets pretty damn interesting, that's why. I mean, we are very fun and lively, dare I say, awesome, people, and you would be lucky to hang out with us, I'd think!” You stare at me for a while and raise your eyebrows. I sigh and continue.

Okay, the guy's name was Barney and he was best friend's with Ted, who Robin had feelings for-”

Wait, isn't your name-”

Who's telling the story here?”

... You are.”

So who gets to explain in whatever way she wants to?”

... You do.”


 

So, the guy's name was Barney and I guess he was pretty awesome...”


 



Days of Summer, June
[info]xoxochic27

 

June.


 

Stay out super late tonight

Picking apples, making pie


 

It starts off lazy, laying next to each other, as she gazes at stars and he lets his mind wander. It's not a beginning, and they don't think of it as one. It's always been Ted-Lily-Marshall, but for this summer it's just Ted-and-Lily, and that's okay. It feels natural, calm, and.. nice. So it's okay.

She speaks, sometimes. Tells him about the constellations, and the morning star, and that she wonders how the hell the Wise Men followed a star to Bethlehem. He laughs when she jokes she'd get lost and he whispers that they were probably under the influence of something. She hits him in the arm and says he's ruining the Bible, he'll lightly tap her back, she'll tell him he's a wimp and he hits like a guy. He protests, says she's a girl, and he can't actually hit her, it's not right. She smiles and coughs, wimp. (She secretly thinks he's a gentlemen, but there's no way she will ever tell him that).

They stay up and talk 'till it's too late and she should be back to her friend's house she's staying at, but all the sudden it's 4, and what's the point, it's practically morning anyway. So she stays, and they lay there, just talking about whatever, and at one point she thinks, this is fun. She's having fun, and she's doing it without Marshall. (She almost thinks, step one accomplished, but it's a little mean, because it's not like she doesn't miss him. She does. She blocks the disobedient thoughts out, and leaves it at that.)


 

The morning after he takes her to his favorite coffee shop, a little one with very nearly no business, and of course Ted would find it, but it's actually really good. She orders her favorite(black, with tons of sugar, he always tells her that she can't call it coffee if it's technically all sugar) and he orders whatever the special is, because he likes being, his words, spontaneous. She rolls her eyes when she thinks he's not looking, and he sticks his tongue out at her when he knows she is looking.

Immature.”

Oh, I'm immature? Miss, my drink to start off the day is basically a cup of rotting teeth waiting to happen?”

Okay, I changed my mind. You can't be immature, because right then you basically,” she mocks him, making a funny face, “sounded exactly like my mother right then.”

Hey!”

And that's how their morning routine starts.


 

One night she gets bored of looking at the sky and talking, so she tells him to get up and, 'get your ass in gear, Moseby!'.

She tells him to drive her to her house, and he thinks she's gotten bored of him already(and he's a little hurt, that's true, but the last thing he's going to do is tell that to Lily), but he obediently takes her anyway. When he drops her off, she whispers for him to stay where he is, and sprints into the house.

He drums his fingers on the steering wheel and thinks of all possible pranks she could be planning to pull on him right now. (He knows Lily, and nothing she does is ever without some ulterior motive.)

He hears a scream, and Lily is running out of her house, tripping in a comically hilarious way, while her friend yells back at her, “Lily Aldrin! You suck!”

He's about to say she should go back and apologize, but she's cracking up the whole way, and pounds on the side of his car she's standing on.

Open up!”

When he obliges, she jumps in and shrieks, “What are you waiting for? Go, go, go!” And he does, merely because not obeying Lily in the past has never turned out that great for him.

About fifteen minutes into their out of the blue road trip, he has to ask her, “What the hell was that?”

She genuinely looks surprised, and questions, “Are you mad at me? It was just a joke. I surprised her when she was in the middle of...um. Well, something with her boyfriend. That's why she was pissed, but she'll be fine in the morning.” She has this look, a sad slash amused look and he feels this tenderness that he's never felt before, and it's weird, it's Lily, so he shakes it off and assures her he's not mad.

Oh. Well, I had this idea. See, there's an apple orchid really close to this place, in fact, just turn right here, yep, that's right.”

He just turns to her and wonders what is wrong with her, but he does find it funny so he turns, and asks,

An apple orchid? What?”

She gets this big grin and it lights her face up(he wonders for a second why he never realized how pretty she is, but it's only a second and then it's gone).

An apple orchid! We go there, after hours, and we...wait for it...(years later, that'll be the thing that starts his friendship with Barney, because he'll remember the phrase she used so often in college, when everything was simpler, and more fun, and just better) we are going to...are you ready for this?”

Yeah!”

Steal apples! We are going to take apples! Won't it just be the most fun thing ever?”

He's shocked, and he almost runs into a tree until he jolts out of his stupor.

Steal. Apples?”

She looks so enthusiastic, he feels bad he's going to have to tell her that there's just no way in hell he's doing a lame thing like that.

Are you high?” And her face falls, crumples, and already he regrets it, and it might be weird that she has this much hold over him, but whatever, she's one of his best friends. It's normal.

(He's sure it's normal, it has to be normal, because if it's not normal then what does that mean?)

No! I just thought it would be a cool thing to do. Something dangerous, you know?” It's not dangerous at all, he thinks, but in some twisted Lily-logic she must find it rebellious.

What are we going to do with these apples?”

He's got her there, she didn't really think about it much. So she just says the first thing that pops into her mind, something her and her mother used to do when she was young, before her mom went all feminist crazy and said cooking was for submissive, boring girls who would, in the long run, get divorced by their lawyer/doctor/some other rich occupation husbands and have to live on the streets as prostitutes because they would have no skills.

We are going to bake pies. You like pies, I like pies... it works for everyone.”

And just because he can't possibly think of anything to say to that, she takes his silence as a yes, and they end up going to an apple orchid, to steal apples, to make pies.

 

When they finally arrive at the apple orchid(it wasn't close, not at all), Lily takes out two black sweatshirts out of her bulgy backpack(how did he not notice she was carrying that?).

What are those for?” And he's a little scared of her answer, to tell you the truth.

Us, silly! We don't want to be noticed.”

Oh, god.

Lily. We are breaking into a apple orchid. It's not like there's going to be high-tech cameras or something.”

She stares back at him with a look mixed of disdain and amusement(all her looks regarding him seem to have a note of amusement).

What if one of us makes a noise, and the owners come out? What if you, being a big clumsy oaf”-and he thinks, yeah, he's the clumsy one here-“falls or something, and they hear you? We need these.”

Whatever, let's just get this crazy scheme of yours over with,” He says grudgingly, “so I can leave before I get arrested, thanks to you, again.

Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was not my fault, that was yours. If you had just listened to me...”

She goes off on a tangent, but she's stifling a laugh the whole time, and in the end, just gives up and falls to the ground laughing.

Let's go. Lily, let's go.”

And she's crying, and laughing, and it's so stupid, her cracking up in an apple orchid, in the middle of the night, while she clutches two bulky black sweatshirts, but it's so funny, and he can't help but sit next to her and break down.


 

They eventually do get into the apple orchid. He's all for leaving, but she lectures him, saying how she didn't do all this work for nothing, and she convinces him(more like forces him, but with Lily, the two really are the same thing).

She whispers how she feels so hard core and he teases her that maybe now she'll start snorting or something. She scoffs, but seems to actually consider it for a second, until he quickly distracts her with the fact that the gate is locked.

We'll climb it. Duh!” And he has to go up first, because according to her, he has to help her get up. He smirks, and yells down he's sorry but he can't hear her, and she'll just have to climb by herself. She screams(albeit, quietly, as they're technically breaking in) and yells but she does climb it.

There's a moment though, when she nears the top, she slips and almost falls, and there's a second where he thinks she's hurt and his heart stops and he can't breathe and all he can think is, Lily.

But then she recovers and keeps climbing and it's all okay, and he forgets all about those breath-taking seconds, because she's good and therefore, so is he.


 

The minute they get in, she just randomly grabs apples from trees and throws them into her backpack. She hisses at him to hurry up, and he complies, picking apples and soon they have too much to carry and Lily smiles, and he does too.

Let's go.”

He definitely agrees with that, and they're leaving, every thing's cool, until he does the stupidest thing in the world and runs into apple picker machine thing(it was dark, he couldn't see) and it crashes over, and lands on a few trees. Which crash down with it, which all in all, creates a huge boom that he's almost positive the whole freaking country hears. Lily makes it worse by screaming, and they run at the gate, throwing the backpack over, climbing as fast as they can, and he swears he hears in the distance, someone yelling, “Damn kids!”


 

He creaks open the door to his apartment(yeah, he bought one, and he thinks it makes him seem more adult, plus, what reason does he have to go home for?) and Lily and him rush in and crash on his tiny gray pullout couch. She can't stop giggling and he keeps telling her to shut up, she didn't help by screaming like a little girl, to which she just shakes her head, leans against him, and proceeds to chortle until she's weeping.

After a while, he remembers why they originally stole the stupid apples, and asks if she wants to make pies. He has some leftover crust dough from his last girlfriend(she was in cooking school, and a freaking food fanatic), and they can probably handle making pies.


 

Needless to say, they end up covered in dough, mangled apples, and flour. She just smiles, and collapses on the ground, gesturing for him to join her. He does, and she stares at him for a good five minutes, until she reaches out and says, “You've got flour all over your mouth, Ted.” He rolls his eyes and asks where, but she tells him not to worry, she's got it, and she leans over and very slowly brushes it off. Very slowly, and he can't help if he's kind of turned on, it's not his fault, it's late, and crazy, and he's a guy. He is not having...feelings for Lily.

He pulls away, insists they go to sleep, she can have his bed, he'll take the crappy couch. But she just shakes her head and says, “You've got a master, right Ted? That fits two, doesn't it?”

He doesn't have feelings for her.


 


 

Put a little something in our lemonade

and take it with us

 

They're about halfway through the month when Lily suggests they go on a picnic(suggests isn't really the word he would use, but it's Lily, so he just shrugs and lets it go). She's all excited because it's been one of her dreams since she was little, to go on a good old fashioned picnic, and she packs the sandwiches, the watermelon, the lemonade, and at his insistence, the vodka he had hidden in his drawer. She looked incredulously at him, because who the hell did he have to hide that from, and he just smiles and winks, and they continue to decide what to bring.

She feels kind of shy, because she can't shake the feeling this isn't completely innocent and alcohol is never a good factor, though she forgets about her foreboding feelings and loads everything into her beaten pickup truck(it was a gift, a sucky gift, but she needed a car). He teases her and calls her weak when she needs help lifting the basket, and she calls him a bastard who won't help an innocent young girl.

He stops himself from staring at her when she's not looking, because the light is hitting her just right and he thinks she looks kind of like angel(what is he doing? This is Lily, Marshall's Lily, his friend Lily, platonic friendship Lily, not his Lily, and that's the end of it, she's not his).

She watches him and thinks about muscles and smiles and smirking and teasing and this is easier then it was with Marshall(was? It still is with Marshall, he's still her boyfriend and Ted isn't, Ted is her best friend, her buddy, the guy she goes to with problems about her and Marshall, not the guy she thinks about all the time, of course she doesn't, it's just hot out and she's hungry and that's all, that's all).

They finish packing the food away, and she walks around, but he gets there before her and opens the door for her(and she thinks, gentlemen, and when was the last time Marshall did that for her?).

Her shoulder brushes his arm, and he shivers(what a girly thing for him to do, god, he's being stupid, it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't). Before he can put his foot on the gas though, she yells(practically giving him a heart attack in the process, thanks for that Lily) leans over him, her hair brushes his cheek(and he can pretty much see down her shirt, (but he shouldn't notice that, and he doesn't) snatches the vodka and two cups, and settles back in her chair.

What? This wouldn't be a good picnic without alcohol, now would it?”

Lily, I think that's against the law. I can't drink and drive.” She just looks at him pityingly, and says(in a tone of voice that, in the future, will be known as her “teacher voice”)

Who said one of these was for you?”

He laughs and she laughs, but she's not joking, and she downs both glasses in the span of about 2 seconds each.

That can't be good, he thinks.

And all of the sudden she giggling like crazy and trying to steal the wheel from him.

Definitely not good.


 

They arrive(safely, and not arrested, thank god) at their destination, a piece of land right by the lake.

It is really beautiful, and he's sitting down, preparing their food(he really should get some substance into Lily, before she tips over into the lake because of too much alcohol) when Lily interrupts him by chucking a cup at his head.

What the hell, Lily?” She just smiles and cover her mouth with her hand, then whispers, “Oops.”

Yeah, I'm sure that was an accident. Why don't you come over here and sit down, okay? Eat something?”

She just shrugs and tells him she's good, but why doesn't he come over here and drink a little with her?

And she looks so cute, sitting with her legs crossed and pouting, he can't help it, he goes over there and okay, he'll drink a little, but not a lot, all right?

One of us has to stay kind of sober,” he insists.

She smirks at him, and lays on the sand, her fingers tapping along to some imaginary melody, and he thinks, he would be lucky to get a girl half as amazing as Lily Aldrin.


 

Turn out the lights, say goodnight

No thinking for a little while


 

The last week of June, Ted finally comes up with a completely crazy plan for them to carry out. He's pacing around his room, trying to figure out how to one-up Lily, because her last idea had been to steal an animal from the zoo(long story short: he will never go back to that place), and he kept coming up blank.

But then he sees the empty vodka bottle from a few weeks ago, and he has a major brainstorm.

They're going to rob a liquor store.

He presents the idea to her, and he's nervous(that's weird, and he wonders what's with his constant urge to impress her) that she might hate it or laugh or just leave.

But she doesn't, she smiles and says it's the best idea she's ever heard and of course she'll go along with it, when has she ever turned down free liquor.

He laughs and they go on their separate ways, but she makes him promise her to meet her outside her house, he agrees and makes her promise not to ditch him.

She just shakes her head and says, “Ted. I probably would if it wasn't for the free drinks.” But she's joking and he knows it, so they leave on good terms(they always do).

(Neither of them realized this was illegal, and when Ted thinks back on it, he wonders how they could be so stupid and reckless, about everything.)


 


 

Lily....Lily!”

She turns around to find Ted at her window, looking especially creepy by scratching the glass and seeming just like a psychopath out of an old horror story.

Ted! What the hell?”

He smiles sheepishly and pleads with her to let him in, or come outside so they can get ready.

She eventually comes out to meet him(mostly because he started doing scary killer impressions) and they hop into his car.

So. Are we seriously gonna do this?” She can barely contain her excitement, to be doing something so bad-ass, so daring. She knows it's illegal and she could probably be kicked out of college(and kicked into jail) but she can't find it in herself to care. It's just so not her to do this, and she loves it.

(She never tells anyone this, but she had almost wished she'd gotten caught).


 

They arrive at the closet crappy liquor store they can find, share a furtive look, nod, and start running toward it. Ted wore the appropriately geeky black ski cap, along with an all black wardrobe. She wears a black tee, black short-shorts, and no shoes.

Yep, they look like criminals.

One... Two.... Three!”

Charge.


 

They're running around the store(it wasn't that hard to break in, he just broke the window with a rock) and she trips over a case of beer, and Ted trips right over her.

Smooth, genius!”

What? You fell down first!”

Oh, yeah, blame the girl!”

It doesn't matter that they're arguing though, because they're so close together(and her hand's wrapped around his, and their legs are tangled up, and god she's barely wearing anything, and he's wearing a short sleeved shirt and his muscles), they're looking into each other's eyes, and that's the breaking point, he moves closer and so does she.

And all of the sudden, there's no space between them.


 

Let's not try to figure everything out at once


 

They move apart at the same time. She's breathing hard and her face is flushed but her eye's are sparkling and her lips curve into a smile. He can barely believe what he's doing, what he just did, and he can't do anything but say, “Let's go.”

Just like that, their mission is forgotten.

(None of this feels like a surprise, it feels like it's been a long time coming, and there will be no thoughts about guilt, boyfriends, best friends, broken hearts, love, not tonight.)


 

They can't keep their hands off each other long enough, they're already making out when they reach his apartment door. He grasps for the key, shoves it in the lock, they burst in, and she kicks the door closed behind her. She stares at him, pushes him backwards into his old, worn-out, beat-up(comfy) chair and climbs on top of him. They're both half-awake, in a daze, but it doesn't matter, nothing matters, not now, what could possibly be more important than this?

And he's pushing up her shirt, and she thinks it's because Marshall's not here, and he tells himself it's because he's a guy and she's beautiful.

They both think of reasons until the morning, and none of them are true.


 

We're half awake in a fake empire


 


Days of Summer, Prologue
[info]xoxochic27

 

Oh, boy. This is very, very experimental, so be nice! And comment if you do like, I really love when people comment. And as I feel this might be confusing, here you go.

Explanation: I got this idea from watching a preview of (500) Days of Summer. Not a remake or anything, just the days idea is. It's told through the days of Ted and Lily's summer between juniot and senior year of college. It might be just a two parter and have a very long second part, but I don't know... please comment, I pretty much live off them!


 

Once upon a time, a girl and a boy were in love. Then the boy had to go away for the summer, leaving the girl alone, with only the boy's best friend to keep her company.


 

Lily.


 

It was the summer between their junior and senior years of college. And she had assumed she'd be spending it blissed out with her boyfriend, Marshall, and hanging in between with her friends, lounging around getting tan. That's what this summer was supposed to be.

A distraction. Distraction from the fact that this would be their last year, that they're gonna be adults, that maybe, maybe, little things aren't so little, maybe the way they act affects their lives now.

Distraction from the future.

She hadn't expected, however, that Marshall would be leaving her to go visit his family in Minnesota for the whole summer.

She wasn't mad, and at least she had friends for company, and her and Marshall's best friend Ted would be staying, but she still felt weird. Like, she didn't remember how to not be with Marshall, how to live her life without him.

That was never her plan. Go to college, get a degree, major in art history, be a feminist, go into the world, save lives, become someone, live your life to the fullest. That was the plan. Fall in love freshman year of college, get engaged, get married, have kids, be a wife, be so much less then the sum of her parts. That was not.

And then Marshall happened, and he swept her off her feet, with his cute, bumbling personality, and his childish curiosity, and his love for the unknown(Nessie comes to mind).

This summer, Lily Aldrin, you're going to do something unexpected, she promised herself.

This summer, you're going to do something.


 

Ted.


 

Ted's college life hadn't exactly turned out to be thriving. Sure, there were some kick-ass parties, and he had hooked up with, you know, lots of girls(translation: 3), and he had fun. But he always felt like there was something missing, something important, that he hadn't found yet. He was a romantic at heart, that was his secret. He wanted that happily ever after, the whole fall in love, get married, have kids thing. He knew that was a really girly thing to strive for, which is why he never told anyone, except his best friend Marshall, and he had been eating a sandwich(he had been stoned) while he said it. So he doubted Marshall remembered that, at least, he really hoped Marshall didn't remember that.

This summer, Teddy boy, you're going to fall in love, he told himself.

This summer, you're going to fall in love.


 

And the weird thing is, both of their predictions came true.


Five Stages, Denial
[info]xoxochic27

 

He's seen it before, he supposes. One sided love. In movies, books, T.V, and for a while he saw it in Barney and Robin. He's witnessed how torturing it is, how terrifying and utterly horrible, to love but not be loved back. He knows people who are in love, equally and fully, tell how they never would survive without the other, how love is very possibly the greatest thing in the world. He gets it.

That's the thing. He knows exactly how much one sided love sucks, and he's seen it in action, so he told himself that would never happen to him.

And it hasn't.

But sometimes, he finds himself watching her a little too closely, laughing at her jokes a little too loudly, loving her a little too openly.

But what is he saying? He's not in love with Lily Aldrin, because he planned out everything and everything does not involve loving his best friend's wife.

It doesn't matter that for a second, at their favorite table in MacLaren's that he looked at her, truly looked at her and that he thinks they noticed. He saw the way Marshall's eyes skimmed over them, how Robin look shocked, that Barney's eyes widened and Lily looked back at him for a second.

She looked at him, and he thought, for a minute, that he knew what one sided love felt like.

But he's Ted Mosby, who's always got a plan, and his plan didn't involve being in love with Lily.

Because, of course, he isn't.


 


Five Stages- How I Met Your Mother fanfic 1/6
[info]xoxochic27

 

We have a very specific seating arrangement at our favorite table in MacLaren's. There's always two people on one side, two people on the other, and one person sits in a chair beside.

Okay, so it's not very specific.

And maybe we really don't have a seating arrangement. Because that would be stupid, but that doesn't pertain to this story.

Well, the whole seating thing does, but that will be explained later.

This story is of his love for the one girl he can't have seen through the eyes of everyone.

(Well, Ted, Robin, Marshall, Lily and me. But you know. Everyone that matters.)

This story is told in the span of about a minute, maybe less.

Maybe there is more to this story, maybe if we had all reacted differently, approached each other about it, maybe there would be more to this story.

But we didn't, and there isn't and so, this is all there is.

You know, they say there are five stages of grief.

That might work a little better then the seating analogy.


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